Since I’m getting close to the end of my pregnancy (8 months next week!), we’ve (well I have, I don’t know about the Gent) been getting asked a lot about how many kids we want to have.
I read this today and thought it was a really neat way of explaining that whole thing:
“We want to have kids as long as there is grace for it. When that runs out, then that’s when we’ll stop.”
I think it fully encompasses the idea that we want the LORD to plan our family, but that we are also aware of the resources he has/does/will provide us. Having 12 kids doesn’t mean the He blesses you “more” with resources… but the kids themselves are a blessing with the graceful means God has provided.
Think of it this way… there are people that just keep having kids because, Biblically, they are a blessing. However, have they thought about being fully equipped to deal with a large family emotionally, financially, safety, whatever? Having a sh!t ton of kids doesn’t mean you’re proving something to the world… but It also doesn’t make them ignorant or irresponsible people…
I just want to be responsible with the blessings and resources with which we’ve been blessed. And right now saying we’ll have a huge family just isn’t what’s right for us.
I don’t think having a ton of kids is an invitation to God to bless us more financially or provisionally. Loren and I both want the LORD’s will in our marriage/life/everything… But I don’t think that means that we haphazardly live without any kind of thought on our own part. I’m not just going to pop out babies until God makes it impossible for my body to do so anymore.
Also, we don’t feel right assigning a number to our family. Just a few years ago I wasn’t even sure I wanted to have kids at all (not the Gent though, he was born to be a dad). And now, at the end of my pregnancy, I realize that this is the most right think I’ve ever done. We just don’t think it’s cool to limit our potential as parents/providers and limit God’s influence in our life by just deciding on some number that makes us comfortable.
So, how many kids do we want to have? We have no idea. Right now we are overwhelmed in so many wonderful ways by just this one. Over the years I have been really seeing how God reveals his awesome plans for Loren and me on his time, not when we want answers. I trust that He will continue to reveal to us the awesomeness of His will as the years unfold and we plan on just rolling with that. So, maybe we will have 12… but right now I don’t feel called to push out that many babies. I just feel really honored and blessed that I’m called to be the momma to this little one in my belly right now.
Again, that’s just what’s right for us and our family. It’s how we feel called to follow the LORD. It won’t look the same for every family, and that’s OKAY! The world would be super ridiculously boring if everyone were the same.
Oh, and also a quick rant…
HOW DOES ONLY HAVING ONE BABY MAKE US NOT PARENTS?
This is why I should just not go out in public because people say STUPID stuff to pregnant women. Someone ACTUALLY said to me… “Just wait till you have two, you aren’t really a parent until you have more than one.”
You know, you’re right. I don’t really feel THAT responsible for this life growing inside of me. I’m sure it won’t seem like THAT big of a deal since there’s just one of her. In fact, I’m sure if something happened to this ONE baby/child/person I am bringing into this world it wouldn’t be that big of a deal because I’m not THAT much of a parent. Obviously, because you’ve had more than one child your love/compassion/protection/understand of life/children/love in generally is far superior to mine because this ONE baby will in no way alter my life in unfathomable ways or bring a kind a love into my heart that words cannot express.
How could I ever possibly consider myself a parent when I’m only going to have this one life to be responsible for? The AUDACITY.
Right. I know that person didn’t mean I wouldn’t love my baby. But who says something like that to a first time mom? (They did know I was a first timer.) Just because you have more than one kid doesn’t mean you get some kind of Super Parent badge. What about people who CAN’T have more than one kid or chose to stop at just one. Are just less of parents for the entirety of their child’s life because they don’t have more than one kid?
What about parents that have like six kids and they live in squalor and are neglected?
Are they more of a “parent” than me just because they have multiple kids?
I don’t care how many kids you have 3, 5, 7, 9… my dad was even one of 17… your family is your family and I honestly can’t stand how much people compare. Oh yeah, having two kids is harder than having one? I would have never thought that on my own. And thanks for trying to one up me on MY FAMILY.
I’m sorry, but I don’t care how many kids you have. Love them. Appreciate them. You might not always have them. But don’t make it a competition of what’s hard. Don’t make having 3 or 5 kids seem like a burden because “You have no idea until you have more than one.” I don’t. Like I have NO IDEA what it’s like to have a baby in general.
Just quit trying to steal my joy over it with your gross negativity.